Finding my Good

Welcome

 

Welcome to my space! I am looking forward to sharing so many things with you!

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First of all my name is Tanya Patterson. I live in Portland, Ontario Canada where is is currently cold!!

I have 17 children! 17 beautiful, loving individuals I am so very blessed to have call me mom. Well one of those 17 is actually my husband Scott, and as much as he is equally as dependent as the others he does sometimes call me by my name. 3 of the remaining 16 are human children, my oldest is Dawson at 21, Jarred is 18, and Kaden is 7. Cheyenne missed being the oldest by 3 months but that doesn't mean that 21 years ago I wasn't as involved in her birth as I was Dawson's. Her mother was a dear friend of mine (also a horse). Angel was adopted at 4 and is my third turning 21 this year. She has been blind since the age of 6. Mickey is 19, and like Cheyenne he is also a horse - well actually a pony but no one has ever told him that. He was adopted at a year old. Carling's mom was also a good friend of mine, as was her dad. I was her midwife 13 years ago. Lily's mom (Cheyenne's mom too) died an hour after Lily was born leaving her an orphan. Lily turns 11 this year. Chester is the baby of my equine children (he actually looks like one too as he is only 4ft.) He and Kaden are both turning 7. Diesel is my oldest canine child. He is 12. Kenzie and Jessie are the babies of the whole crew at 5. They are my family, my life, my world.

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I'm sure you have already come to the conclusion that I do not lead a typically normal life! Truth is - I never have. I was hoping to connect with people from a different angle as I am not your typical suburban mom type. I am a country loving, truck driving, fix it myself, who cares if we get dirty, that's my tool, tractor driving, horse riding, grocery shop in my carhartts kinda girl. But I strive to live happy every day and make the best of what I have and who I am while I continue to grow and learn how to be the best me. I plan to share with you tips and tricks on how to find your good. I haven't always been on this path, truthfully for most of my life I feel like I wasn't on any path at all. I struggled with being bullied when I was younger and learned how to become resilient at a young age. I learned how not to treat people by the way I was treated. I continued to learn this as I graciously stumbled down this path I created. At first I thought the only way to avoid the people in life who treat you poorly is to avoid them all altogether. This might explain the number of non-human bodies in my list of family but it did little to solve any of my issues. I struggled with finding a balance with people in my lives - I had a habit of either all in or all out. So like many others out there, it took a tragedy - or in my case a series of them - to help me find my way back to the path.

The first step for me was to find the good in myself. I needed to remember what I wanted in life and to figure out the things that mattered. I needed to start loving myself. I needed to stop blaming myself for the way I was being treated. I needed to stop blaming others for the way I was allowing them to effect me. I needed to realize that I was in control. I can choose how I feel. I needed to realize I was choosing to be who I was. I was choosing a path that was leading to a physical and mental breakdown.

Deciding all of this was absolutely not a one step transformation. Its not even a twelve step transformation (you will learn why this is relevant later). It was a total 180 with a series of subtle and not so subtle changes in my life. I want to share with you how I changed my path by starting with the little things. 

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You also may have noticed my Book page. Feel free to check it out! I have been writing for as long as I can remember and I don't plan to quit! My dream is to become a traditionally published author and have just started my journey. I am excited to share some of my ideas and invite you to follow my journey as I continue to follow my path to the best me!